The busy season is upon us, and this close to Christmas, I completely understand if dating goes on the backburner.
At this time of the year, everything can feel extra hard. The holidays often come with additional tasks, high expectations and emotional overload. Very few families or relationships live up to the idealised Christmas image we’re shown in movies, advertising and on social media.
So if you’re feeling lonely, discouraged or questioning your path, you’re not alone. I remember a few years when my Christmas spirit was very frosty.
Single and longing for change
Maybe you’re single and feeling sad that another year has gone by without meeting your person.
Maybe you’ve been looking and trying… but it hasn’t happened.
You might be wondering whether next year will be any different – and what to change so you can finally create dating momentum.
In a relationship - but questioning it
Or you’ve started seeing someone and you’re wondering where things are going.
Can you build the future you want with him? Is he all in? Are you?
Should you end it now to avoid wasting precious time – or keep investing because something might still develop and you’re tired of starting over?
I know several women around 40 who still want to start a family, and these questions keep them up at night.
Decide, don't slide
No matter what time of year it is and what is going on in your love life, one thing makes all the difference, every day of the year: take ownership of your choices. Decide, don’t slide, as dating coach Logan Ury says in her book, How to Not Die Alone.
Make your dating and relationship choices with intention instead of drifting, waiting or hoping. This is what saves time, protects your heart and brings a sense of peace. It protects you from end-of-year regrets and sliding into another 12 months of the same.
I know that conscious decision-making requires effort and the energy of grappling with hard questions. It’s often easier to go with the flow, focus on the things that are either urgent or where we feel more in control, let other people decide.
But making the effort of asking yourself “What would best serve me long-term?” comes with huge rewards that compound with time.
You feel lighter, empowered and in integrity with yourself.
And not only do you gain peace of mind, you’re also much more likely to achieve your goals:
Finding a great partner, building a strong relationship.
Conscious choices lead to clarity, relaxation and inspired action – building blocks for successful dating and lasting love.
Two simple resources to support clear decisions
To help you make conscious, grounded choices – saving yourself endless hours of worrying and (over)analysing, here’s what I can offer you:
1. If you're unsure whether to stay or to go
The New Partner Checklist helps you evaluate whether your current relationship (or situationship) aligns with your long-term goals. Going through it gives you a score so that you can decide your next steps with much more clarity and peace of mind.
If that sounds like a helpful tool for you right now, reply to this email with “new partner” and I’ll share the list with you.
2. If you're single and want the new year to be different
Dating Decisions Made Easy is a practical, 20-page guide with prompts and questions that bring clarity to every stage of dating.
Perfect for you if you want to be the creator of your life, empower yourself in your search for a long-term partner and make sure that you don’t lose yourself in feelings or old patterns.
You can get the guide here.